Monday, April 25, 2011

october 13, 2009. a day that would change our lives. forever. (part 3)

Junk mail, delete. Junk mail, delete. Junk mail, delete. Next I opened up an email from an agency of a child that "matched" our profile. We wanted to adopt a boy from Africa who was 9 or 10 years old. We also wanted him to be an only child, as we had 4 children already, and were just looking to adopt one.

When I saw his picture, my heart skipped a beat and I knew he was to be our son. It was the strangest, yet most peaceful feeling. I had looked at hundreds of pictures of waiting children, and had been moved by their faces, but never like this. I wanted to shout it out and call everyone, post it on facebook and tell the cashier at the supermarket that day! ;) But there was something almost sacred about "finding" our child that led me to ponder it in my heart. My thoughts went to Mary when she was told the news that she was carrying the Messiah. Scripture tells us that she pondered too.

According to this site, you were supposed to have a completed home study before you inquired, but I couldn't help myself! I emailed the agency that represented him to ask about him further.

I showed my husband, Chad, the picture later that day, but knew he wasn't quite at the place where I was with the idea of adopting. I didn't say that this was our son (lol), but just that I was interested in this little boy. Immediately I could tell that he wasn't ready for that, so I knew I needed to let it go. He wanted to adopt, just not this soon. I knew deep in my heart that if this was to be our son, that God would hold him for us until we could.

So, I prayed. If there is one thing that I have learned in our 15 years of marriage, is that I know how to manipulate and get my way with my man. Horrible? Yes. But true. (Anyone out there with me here?) I've also learned that that is a sin that I have to put to death. So. I prayed some more. I wasn't going to manipulate. If we were going to adopt, we both had to be in this 150%. I knew if it was God's will and the timing was right, that God would change his heart or mine. Weeks went by and I continued to pray for God's will, and for our son in Africa. I continued to feel at peace that we were to adopt and God knew which child.

During this time, Chad and I had various conversations about adoption. On a date night, we went to see The Blind Side. What we didn't know was that it was a moving story about adoption! We still laugh about it as Chad asked if I planned that. If I had known, I certainly would have tried!! ;) Anyway, that led to a deeper discussion which Chad shared that he was ready. I wanted to immediately call and find out if "our" child was still available. I was dying, but knew it was all in God's hands. Later that night :) I emailed the organization. The next day, I received an email that although several people had inquired, no one followed through and he was still needing a home. And that was all it took... (coming next: meet Kadiri!)

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